Not What We Had Envisaged

Earlier this month Annette & I received confirmation that my request for early retirement on compassionate grounds had been accepted.

This has come about because of my health condition 😦

A general notification was announced this week via a Bulletin advising that today (Saturday 19 August) is my last day, but that is not the end of the story, keep reading to find out more.

Now I can honestly say that this is not how I imagined my ‘full-time’ officership concluding. Yet alone, not what we had envisaged as we walked through the doors of training college, almost 18 years ago, how we would end up in our ministry together as a couple.

You see, we both had specific ideas, plans, schemes and hopes on how we would both be able to continue well into our retirement, as a couple, offering support and encouragement to others. Thinking that we would be active well into our 70’s (possibly even our 80’s) doing what we could to further God’s kingdom message as His fellow workers.

Afterall, my ministry verse and guiding scripture has always been ‘“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”‘ Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)

This is a verse that I always tend to turn to when faced with challenges, struggles and adversity both within my ministry and life in general.

Another verse that I’ve also held close to my heart is “Many plans occupy the mind [heart] of a man, but the Lord’s purposes will prevail [or be established].” Proverbs 19:21 (International Standard Version)

In both of these verses I’m challenged, uplifted, and encouraged that through all the ways that I’ve outlived my ministry to date it has never really been about what I want for my life and ministry – But His plans and what He want in each situation that He has placed us.

You see, some may say that I’m a dreamer as I always tend to have a multitude of plans swimming around inside my head. But the reality is that only those that I have sought His guidance and direction for in my life have succeeded. This has brought about many miracles in our ministry to date. 

Now obviously in this season of frustration, concern, animosity, and at times grief and sorrow around my health – I wonder and doubt that my health is something that God would have wanted for my life – but I’m comforted by the fact that He will use it for His glory.

I just have to trust and carry on doing all that I can to help point people to Jesus. 

This week I’ve been reminded how God has worked through my life to impact and inspire the lives of others – one such God-ordained moment was when we went and approached someone in Invercargill to do our Youth ministry.

What follows is something she wrote on my facebook newsfeed the other day.

“Sending love and blessings to you and Annette. I am pleased (and relieved) to hear of your upcoming retirement and all that it means for you guys going forward.

Reading the summary of your officership in the Bulletin today brought a smile to my face – because I’m privileged to know some of the impact of each of those appointments, the things that can’t be mentioned in a brief summary, but each sentence carries weight that lasts for generations. And I’m blessed to be part of that impact.

To know that the links I will add to the chain are directly connected to yours – the impact that I will have is in part because of the impact you have had. And so there is more to the story than what a Bulletin can tell, and more that hasn’t even been written yet.

My prayer is that you will go into your retirement with as full a sense of reward as your heart can handle. I will always be grateful for you.

… and, selfishly, grateful that in your humility and willingness to take the step back you need to, you’ll still be around to speak into our continuing journey. Because we’re definitely not done yet Perry Bray.“

The thing is, I know that this kind of sentiment is also applicable to many other aspects of our ministry such as securing a site to relocate our Corps building on.

If God wasn’t in that whole situation then we would never have been able to move forward at the time and not have what is in place today.

If God hadn’t impacted the hearts and minds of those within the community and garnered their support of and assistance in the development of project like ‘The Shed’ and community gardens in Westport, then they would’ve more than likely never have eventuated, as we at the local Corps level didn’t have the resources to make them happen.

Another example of God’s provision was when we needed things such as food, furniture, and even buildings – God would provide for our needs in ways that we could never have imagined.

The thing is, in all of these circumstances and so many more we had ideas, plans and schemes to help advance His work – but if it wasn’t intune with what He wanted for us to do, then it simply would have remained a dream.

You see, we knew “that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28 (New International Version)

All too often we would seek to identify where God is already at work and join Him for the duration of our time together in that location. That often meant getting out of our comfortable boats and walking on water.

You see, other local appointments we’ve made throughout our time’s in Westport, Belfast, Invercargill and even in Wellington, have seen people recognise God working in their lives, (some for the first time) and our connection with them has moved them to seeking after Him more and more.

This has been a huge blessing and honour to be able to serve in this way.

What a ride! And the journey is not over just yet.

Annette will continue in her roles and a further Bulletin came out later in the week advising that I will still be around to bug, encourage, guide and coach others albeit in a part-time capacity, with an ‘Appointment in Retirement’ as a Mission Support Coach.

People say that when you’ve been in ministry that retirement is not really a thing, as God continues to use you for His purposes. My condition has certainly opened doors to a whole new mission field, as I use my experiences to help support and encourage others that are suffering from a rare disorder or disease.

Scleroderma may be affecting my full-time capacity – but it will not define me! I will endeavour to soldier on not only as one of God’s Fellow Workers, but also as a Scleroderma Warrior and looking at all the paperwork involved / required in getting some government assistance I will need to be.

You see, thankfully I’ll be able to continue doing what I can, when I can, and as my health condition allows me to serve in His vineyard.

In all of this we have trusted in God and even though at times found processes frustrating to navigate and they’ve dragged on, both Annette & I are happy to continue doing what we can as God’s fellow workers.

This may not be what we had envisaged, but we are still in His hands, being guided by Him and even though at times we are flummoxed by what is going on in and around us we can trust that He has still got this!

Blessings ’til next time 🙂

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