If you have been following my blog over the past year you or so, you will have noticed that every now and then I share poems by John Roedel.*
I’ve been following his Hey God. Hey John. facebook page for a while and every now and again I post some of the conversations with God that John shares.
Mainly because they resonate with me on a number of levels, and I find them so relevant to my own journey of life, ministry and faith.
Scleroderma has certainly made me rethink / deconstruct aspects of my life as I deal with the myriad of symptoms that crop up from time to time as I experience life living with a rare and incurable autoimmune disease.
I find myself as I prepare this post, having to take additional pain killers throughout the day, as the aches and pains throughout my body have been steadily increasing over the past couple of days, especially in my middle back 😦 This definitely doesn’t help with the fatigue that I’m constantly dealing with either.
The thing is, at the moment there are times when I can feel at a bit of a loss.
The path before me is uncertain. I am unsure if the decisions that I’ve made are going to be beneficial to me or not. The way forward is unclear. The challenges seem almost insurmountable.
Then other doubts and fears creep in, and any number of questions arise.
But in all of this, I have to trust; Trust in God, Trust in myself, and Trust in others. For according to Psalm 16:11 “He will show me the path of life, in His presence is fullness of joy, at His right hand are pleasures forevermore.”
(New King James Version)
The trusting in others can at times be extremely challenging, especially if they have let you down in the past, or aren’t prepared to listen to what you are saying. How many of you with Chronic Illnesses can relate to that? You share how you are feeling to the doctor, or specialist and you get the sense that they just wanna move on to the next patient. And that is just one example of many that I’m sure we could all relay.
Trusting in myself can also be a challenge, as there are often instances when I was able to do something the other day, only to find that today I just simply can’t manage, at times, the simplest of tasks. This can lead to anger at oneself and frustration 😦
Then the big one, or at least for a number of people, trusting in God – I mean if He was a loving God and all, why would He even allow me to go through this 😦 Surely it is not what He had planned for me and my life?
Yet for me, if you wipe away everything else, others and even myself – this is the one thing that I hold on to; that God is with me, supporting me and guiding me. Through the good times and the bad, through the ups and downs, holding my hand and helping me navigate the wilderness.
Now, I am in no way suggesting that the journey is going to be easy, in fact there are times when it is anything but – However, having someone to walk it with you makes one heck of a difference. Or at least it does in my life 🙂
John writes;
Me: Hey God.
God: Hello, My love!
Me: Okay, that’s it! I officially don’t know where I’m going. I’m totally lost.
God: Don’t worry. All will be well. Take My hand.
Me: Your hand? You bet! Are you going to help me figure out which way I need to be going?
God: Nah. Right now I want you to enjoy your journey.
Me: I’m not on a journey! I’m lost! There’s a difference!
God: Not always. Being a bit lost can be a remarkable adventure.
Me: I’m sure – but I think I just want You to bring back me to some sort of recognizable path. I hate not knowing where I’m going.
God: Relax. Sometimes being lost will let you find graces in places that you’d never thought you would see. Sometimes being lost will introduce you to amazing people that you would have never met had you been on the beaten path. Sometimes you need to be lost for a while in order to come to know yourself. Sometimes being lost will help you be a witness to miracles that you would have missed. I’m telling you that sometimes being lost can be the best thing ever to happen to you.
Me: If you aren’t going to lead me out of the wilderness, why do you want me to hold Your hand?
God: To show you that you’re not alone. Just because your lost doesn’t mean that you are on your own. I am on this journey with you. I’m right with you.
Me: I’m scared.
God: Lace your fingers with Mine and nothing will harm you.
LET’S WANDER TOGETHER!
Me: Which way should I go?
God: You pick. Any way you go I will be with you. Any way you go –
Me: You will have something beautiful to show me?
God: You’re getting good at this!
You may also be interested in reading the following:
- Be a Lighthouse
- Don’t be Afraid
- Becoming!
- This is NOT how I planned my life to be
- Influence
- Breathing is Sacred
- Focus on the Beautiful
Blessings ’til next time 🙂
* John Roedel is a comic, husband and father of three boys based in Wyoming who began talking with “God” in 2015 on Facebook about his ongoing faith crisis.
What began as a flippant way of making light of his doubts in the Divine turned into something he wasn’t at all prepared for:
God wrote back.
Since creating the popular “Hey God. Hey John.” Facebook page three years ago, John has tackled such topics as his journey to mental health wellness, his lack of faith, the joy and pain of raising a child with autism, and grief, all in the form of a simple conversation with God.
You can pick up a copy of John’s latest book ‘Fitting in is for Sardines’, a collection of his poetry that focuses on the courage it takes to be who we were born to be. It celebrates how perfectly strange we were all created to be. Different is beautiful!! from Amazon (Australia) here.
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