Tomorrow is White Ribbon Day, a day when people wear a white ribbon to show that they do not condone violence towards women.
It was started in Canada in 1991 and has been officially adopted by the United Nations as its International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women.
The campaign was introduced to New Zealand by UNIFEM (the United Nations Development Fund for Women) in 2004 and the Families Commission became the lead agency in 2006.
White Ribbon Day celebrates the many men willing to show leadership and commitment to promoting safe, healthy relationships within families and encourages men to challenge each other on attitudes and behaviour that are abusive.
Unfortunately, in New Zealand most violence by men against women takes place in the home – with an average of 14 women a year killed by their partners or ex-partners. Each year there are over 3,500 convictions recorded against men for assaults on women and one in five women will experience sexual assault or sexual interference at some point in their lives.
This years White Ribbon Campaign promotes healthy masculinity through adapting the phrase “Boys will be Boys“, where they’re taking back this phrase that excuses poor behaviour and flipping it on its head.
There are awesome things about being a boy that we need to celebrate.
- Boys have heart – encourage them to show it, not just in being tough or brave or strong but in showing that they care.
- Boys can and should cry – it’s part of being human and it serves a purpose, expressing your feelings allows you to work through them – bottling up emotions isn’t healthy.
- Boys can play sport, be part of a team, like fast cars and still stand up and speak out when they hear others being abusive.
- Boys are loyal friends and can call others in – have a quiet chat with a mate if he says something abusive or offensive about girls or women, don’t just let it go. Share your feelings, ask why they feel that way – you can help. Be the change you want to see in the world. Every person can make a difference.
Raise Awareness!
It takes strength and bravery to stand up and speak out in a world that too often wants to limit you to stereotypical gender roles.
We need to celebrate the good we see in our young men and change the script.
Men can be part of the solution!
Talk to your son or the boys in the team you coach, or at your school about being a good human and what that looks like in your daily life. Be an ally and help them make good choices.
So many of the hyper masculine stereotypes hurt men as well as women. If we look at violence, not just against women, but also between men, incarceration rates, mental health struggles and suicide statistics, it is obvious these perceived rules of masculinity are broken and hurt men.
We need to give our sons and all the boys in our lives the tools for a healthy violence-free life. Everyone feels angry, there is no shame in that – we just need to work on how we express these emotions in a way that helps not hurts us. Both men and women benefit from equality.
Check out the White Ribbon site and its download section for new online resources including posters, Facebook and Instagram resources, videos, Toolboxes and other helpful campaign tools or the campaign outline for more info.
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