I Had Already Died

About the same time that I was sharing the latest update on my health condition last week, I came across the following post entitled “I Had Already Died” on the ‘Join Us Down The Illness Rabbit Hole‘ site.

It resonated with me on so many levels as I found it not only personally relevant to life dealing with an incurable disease and pertinent to my faith.

But I could also identify with the author, especially when it comes to having to explain to others what my condition is and how potentially serious it is.

Even more so in the Covid environment in which we live in today!

The thing is outward appearances can be deceiving. Often people can look at me and comment that I’m looking good, there doesn’t look like there is anything wrong with me.

A bit like the image of an apple that appears juicy and perfect to eat, yet when you slice it open you find that somehow the insides are damaged.

Believe me there have been times when I do wonder if it is all in my head, as one day I can be right as rain, accomplishing a whole heap of tasks and feeling good, pushing myself just a little bit to do more and more. The next day I’ll be struggling to get the motivation needed to start the day due to slightly over doing it the day or two before.

You see, there is an ongoing internal battle happening inside my body that is demanding more and more of my energy reserves just to keep me going, and sometimes when the energy reserves are depleted – their just aint nothing left to recoup without prolonged periods of rest and recuperation.

A woman from Maine called Em who is a wife, mother of 2, and grandmother of 3 writes:

We are all dying. People who are battling health issues, are just more aware of this

I get asked all the time, how do I deal with knowing I have an incurable illness & I could die. This always perplexes me. No one knows when they’ll die. We do know that we will all die.

I actually find myself focusing more on living right now, in this moment, than I do on dying. A lot of healthy people seem to waste a lot of time, having a lack of appreciation for every minute. Whereas people with an illness, treasure every second and they are keenly aware that death comes for us all.

I’m a firm believer in the idea that we are only given so many minutes to live. How many minutes we will get is on God. But how we spend those minutes is on us. I have always told my kids, “Don’t waste your minutes”. I pretty much say it to everyone now.

I have no idea if I’ll live an average lifespan or if my life will be cut short due to my illness. None of us know these things. Since I got sick, I’ve been trying to live in the present, to count my blessings, to notice things more & to never take my minutes for granted.

A couple years after my diagnosis, I thought to myself, my grandchildren will never know me healthy. That new people I meet, are meeting a completely different “me”, from the one I used to be. It was in that moment that I realized I had already died. The old me was gone. This is the me I’m stuck with, the me born out of illness. It was up to me to shape who I was to become.

I’ve had to accept many things. Death being one of them. I will fight to get as much enjoyment & meaning out of my life as I can.

I will live, love, learn & laugh fiercely. I will do my best to NOT waste one minute.

Imagine a world where we all realize we are dying. Where we choose life & never waste our minutes.

You can read more of Em’s posts here.

As a Christian after reading this I was left with some thoughts and feelings to ponder – Firstly that I can relate to the idea of leaving the former things behind, the old life has gone and a new one is dawning.

I’ve had to do this numerous times in my life, moving from one side of the world to the other as a young fella and then shifting houses and appointments often leaving people that I’ve grown to love and appreciate behind as we develop new friends and establish ourselves in new communities.

New people that I meet do not know the kind of person I used to be – My life has been indelibly changed on so many levels through these experiences and sometimes I wonder what life would have been like if I’d been able to settle down in one location.

Even now with my illness there are some things that I thoroughly enjoy that I’ve had to stop doing, which could get depressing if one was to dwell on it for too long.

But we gotta keep on moving on in life and living for the moment, because we don’t know if it will be our last. And I don’t want to sound flippant here but too many people get hung up on stuff that they don’t need to worry about.

Secondly, I have died to self and I try to live my life in such a way that I challenge, encourage and build up others as best as I can and when given permission to do so – Hopefully providing much needed inspiration to others as they face challenges in their own lives.

God doesn’t say anywhere in the Bible that we are going to have a cruisy life, in fact quite the opposite, but He does say that He will go with us. And He invites us each into an awesome adventure that is to involve others.

And I’d like to think that when people look at my life they will look back at it and say that I was able to inspire others to better deal with whatever they were going through and that my example invoked something within them to aspire for something more.

You see, thirdly I try to look to the positives, I’ve always been a bit of an optimist. I try to look and find a way forward to a brighter and better future regardless of what we are facing in the moment – and I’m also prepared to give anything a go.

Even more so now, especially when it comes to options around medications and the like – After all the medications that we could try may just work.

And we have gotta believe that with the advancements being made with medicine all around the world as the countries around the globe grapple with how to respond to the Covid pandemic and treat respiratory diseases, that a cure may be found – or at least new medications will be developed that will assist those affected like me with Scleroderma and Interstitial Lung Disease, or other Autoimmune Diseases and Disorders feel better and lead a healthier lives.

Bing Crosby sang about accentuating the positives, I may be showing my age just a tad here, although in many regards the song was released way before my time 😊However, when we do focus on the positives we may start realising that we can get through whatever we are facing without getting too bogged down in the negatives.

We only have this one life to live, so we may as well live it to the full and enjoy it to the max for Jesus came to give us life so that we can have joy and live it abundantly, according to John 10:10 (The Voice).

I choose life and don’t want to waste another moment – How about you?

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A Word of Encouragement – Three Key Words…

The following post was originally posted on the Territorial Youth facebook page and on the Salvation Army Youth Firezone website.

It is the second of two articles (re. Covid-19) and was written by Captain Mat Badger in his role as Territorial Youth Secretary.

It is a word of encouragement in these times of uncertainty as the Covid-19 pandemic re-emerges on our shores, here in Aotearoa. (The first article is available here) and this one entitled ‘Encourage. Encourage. Encourage: A Word from the Territorial Youth Secretary re COVID-19 [Part 2]’ has been reposted with permission.

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Kia Ora, Bula Vinaka, Malo e lelei, Talofa Lava… greetings.

Dear friends,

As I write this, here in Aotearoa New Zealand our lives have once again been impacted by various COVID-19 lockdown scenarios. As of today, we think of our friends in Auckland who have re-entered lockdown level 3, while the rest of us around the country have re-entered lockdown level 2. As of yet, we don’t know exactly what this will look like in the long term, but I thought I’d take this opportunity here to remind us of some important things we can each do in order to stay well as we move forward during these uncertain days.

The Mental Health Foundation in their ‘Top Tips to Get Through’ article suggest the following things to help you if you struggle with anxiety and/or stress from lockdown.

Firstly, find ways to connect with others each day. Connecting with others is so important for our wellbeing and helps us to feel safer, less stressed and less anxious.

So have video catchups with mates, play games, and take advantage of the internet to connect with others. If you see people physically, remember to apply the relevant social distancing rules that apply to each of the various levels.

But before I tell you about the other things the Mental Health Foundation recommends, I just want to unpack this first idea a bit more. While contacting others during lockdown is important, I want to say that the way in which we make contact with others is just as important. Remember, as we engage with each other via the internet, we never really know the head space of the person that we are engaging with, and so I would like to suggest here a three-word guideline for all of us. This three-word guideline is as follows:

Encourage. Encourage. Encourage.

In the Bible, encouragement is a key idea that we need to think about applying to all our interactions with others. This includes our online engagement.

Ephesians 4:29 says, ‘Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.’

1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, ‘Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.’

If you are a Christ-follower, remember that words have power and so encouragement should be at the top your list when engaging with others at this time. Encouragement is something we all need to keep us feeling confident, to help us know that we are valued and helps us with our motivation. And if as The Salvation Army we are The Army That Brings Life, then surely this should be reflected in the positive way in which we all engage with each other online.

Just a thought.

The second thing the Mental Health Foundation suggests is ‘find ways to take notice’. Take time to notice the beauty in the world and around your home. Take time to feel the sun on your skin and breathe in fresh air as these actions will help keep us in a good space. I sum this up as making sure that I have an ‘attitude of gratitude.’ It is important for us to be thankful to God for the many blessings we do have in our lives rather than the things we don’t have.

The third thing the Mental Health Foundation suggests is ‘find ways to be active’. As we head back into lockdown, make sure you keep physically active each day.

Go for a walk or a run, but make sure you stick to the recommended guidelines around this for each relevant lockdown scenario.

The fourth recommendation is to ‘find ways to keep learning’. Learning something new each day keeps the brain active and is good for our mental wellbeing.

Maybe there is something that you have been interested in learning about but have never had the time to do. Could this lockdown period be the opportunity you need to further develop yourself?

Other recommendations that the Mental Health Foundation suggest are as follows: Take some time to ‘engage with nature’, and if you are on medication, make sure you keep taking it. Also, try to stick to a healthy routine and make sure you take time to relax. In addition to these things, remember to wash your hands, wear a facemask and keep a track of where you have been and who you have been with.

(Check out this post entitled ‘Look after yourself and others‘ from yesterday which shows the wellbeing  tips for level three).

So, while all these things are important, don’t forget our three key words guideline when engaging with others… encourage, encourage, encourage.

Who are you going to connect with and encourage in the days ahead?

Blessings, Mat Badger

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Attitude makes all the difference

I’m sure that we have all heard the saying that ‘our attitude makes all the difference‘.

I for one know this to be true in mission and ministry, having seen successes and growth, as well as a number of disappointments along the way.

I was recently reading an article by Carey Nieuwhof entitled ‘5 Big Attitude Differences That Separate Growing Churches From Declining Churches‘ in which he explores the attitude of its leaders.

Because I would like to think of myself as being relatively optimistic, I will be focussing on the positive aspects and expanding upon them. However, I will also close this blog entry with some concerns that I find myself facing as we in New Zealand slowly come out of lockdown and start to put plans in place to reopen our places of worship.

• Growing churches and their leaders have an attitude that challenges are not insurmountable and that anything is possible; they believe that they can achieve whatever it is that God is revealing to them, regardless of the challenges that they are facing. Growing churches and their leaders make a way when there appears to be no way, which seems to be what God specializes in if you read the Bible. Even if they’re wrong, at least they have tried something. The mission is important enough to take a significant risk.
• Growing churches and their leaders focus on the people they’re trying to reach. They get creative around how they can get their message out and how they can connect with those in their community. Many churches and their leaders have reimagined what church looks like when they can’t meet together in person, utilising technology in some form or another. The future belongs to those who moved into mission.
• Instead of focusing on the preferences of its members, growing churches and their leaders put more of an emphasis on ways that help them reach new people. It’s not that growing churches ignore the needs of their members, it’s that they realize the needs of their members are best fulfilled by making their lives about something bigger than their preferences (i.e. the mission).
• Growing churches and their leaders are proactive. They choose their agenda and immediately take action on issues that can impact their future. They embrace change and start working on ways in which they can continue the momentum that has started. They see what the mission requires and decide to deal with it, freeing up resources to achieve the results that they are anticipating, refusing to yield to the agenda of others that would take them off mission. As a result, they are often far more effective.
• Growing churches and their leaders act, and act now! They don’t get stuck in no man’s land, talking about things and getting consensus. They understand that action produces traction. So they act on the Holy Spirit’s leadings that come their way and trust that God will journey with them as they step out in faith.

The trouble is as church leaders within the denominational church, we are living in an environment where we are often limited by the constraints placed upon us by others (either in our chain of command or by those that have authority over us). It often doesn’t matter what our attitude is towards mission and ministry as we cannot move past where those others ‘over us’ are at.

It is then further compounded when we add in the issues of finance and sustainability, as those that are comfortable with the no-risk, or limited risk environment that they have become accustomed to, tend not to live by faith, as they feel that they are protecting the wider denomination from unknown variables and security that comes from control.

So the biggest concern that I find myself facing as we in New Zealand come out of lockdown and start to put plans in place to reopen our places of worship is that we are limiting God! Will we be paralyzed by our leaderships inactivity to grasp a hold of the mission and ministry opportunities that God is presenting to us in these times? Possibly, maybe, history would show us – yes.

As I was sharing with a colleague the other day it is almost as if we are left cowering in the trenches waiting on those ‘over us’ to tell us what to do on the front lines, for we are no longer allowed to do what God has called us to be – leaders in His church, that take a hold of our Pentecostalism which emphasises the work of the Holy Spirit. We are bound by the worldly forces where money and planning unfortunately often trump God’s blessing from moving us into a new manifestation of His Spirit.

Habakkuk 1:5 says that God is “going to do something in our days that we would not believe, even if He were to tell us.”

We live in a world that needs God more than ever. Therefore we need to reimagine what church is, not what it has become. Maybe going back to what He intended church to be in the first place, not what we have made it.

We need to be reaching out in to our communities with the Life and Hope that only comes from Jesus Christ. Trusting in God and not going back to normal, for I believe God has so much more in store for His church, if only we would allow Him to work in and through us!

Will that come with a blueprint, a 10 point strategy that spells out exactly what we are going to do and how we are going to afford it, let alone do it? I don’t think so! Because God is a living God, developing, moulding, growing and transforming us into what He intended us to be.

So if our attitude makes all the difference, I am still optimistic that God has not finished with us yet and there is so much more in store for us each. For by the measure of our faith He can do amazing things, things that we could never imagine or fully comprehend – because He makes the way!

We are to “give thanks in all circumstances for this is God’s will for us in Christ Jesus.”

1 Thessalonians 5:18 (New International Version)

So Lord, have your way in me and in Your church.

May the following band piece, composed by Lt. Grant Pitcher be an encouragement to you, as we each embark on a new chapter in our lives, a life that God reveals to us, step by step as we take a journey of faith.

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